I wonder what couples do after they’re married?
What happens the moment after the honeymoon; when they get out of the taxicab, walk up the steps and open the door to their apartment? They drop the bags by the door, stand just inside the welcome mat and stare for a minute.
What a moment?
I would assume the question, “now what?” comes into play; and they may freak out for some time. I mean, so many of us have the desire to get married. But what must those precious seconds feel like when they realized the rest of their life is about to start. Do they laugh? Do they mind freak? Do they send thank you cards?
I’m not there yet, but the question suddenly became relevant to me today while perusing the Nashville streets with my girlfriend. The storyline of dating to engagement and even marriage played itself out in my heard all the way to the front door of that moment, and then I stopped in my head and held a blank stare for a few seconds.
Now what?
It’s a question I could easily transport into any situation of my life. What happens after I actually live out my dreams? The answer most apparent to me is “Continue dreaming. Dream bigger,” and certainly many things have been dreams, which are now a reality; however, certain moments are etched more permanently onto my list of life goals than others.
One of the things I feel is a dirty little secret of being a twenty-something is living in the safety of indecision. We’re still very young, so choosing one life and one path is still a foreign concept. We hide behind our youth and often poor decision making and just say, “We’re not ready yet.” It’s probably true, but it’s sometimes a crutch too. We’re still allowed to be vulnerable, because no one’s looking at us to be the hero yet.
So where do I go from here?
As my life has always been a story inked on the pages of my history and my relationships; so I continue writing. I feel there’s an answer; some concluding paragraph, but I’m learning it’s only to discover there’s another chapter immediately following it. Or even another book in the series.
But isn’t that what makes life beautiful? Knowing that we don’t know. The unknown and the undecided. It’s what makes being a twenty-something so captivating. And while dreams may come, and other dreams with time resurface; I hope to never be so sure of life that I stop asking myself the question—
“Now what?”
-Jason O’Toole
(Source: memoir.jasonotoole.com)
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