For any budding socialite, a common question begins to spark conversation after conversation: “So, what do you do?”
In my opinion, the most uninspiring conversation starter. Not that what people do aren’t inspiring, but the question itself has been so overworked it’s become a part of the handshake. Questions line up as follows:
* What do you do?
* Where are you from?
* How long have you lived in _________________?
* Did you go to _________________________ (school/university?)
* Where do you work?
I think this destroyed enough potential real relationships. All these questions begin with the question of “what.” Not really how or even why. They are surface conversations with surface responses.
I may be the only one on this…
For some time I’ve tried dodging this question. Being a musician in Nashville, Tennessee is all too common; but people still want to be intrigued! This need for more has lead to a satisfying revelation.
People have been asking the wrong question.
People ask what you do because it’s protocol; but they truly want to know why you do it.
So, instead of attempting the stock answer: “I’m a music artist and writer [insert whatever you do to make a living] in Nashville,” I’ve been approaching it more like this:
“Well, I believe everyone has a story. I believe in fact our stories are the biggest things besides what we believe that define who we are. So I really want to start a conversation with people my age in finding their stories, and what inspires them. I try doing this in an artistic and creative way, because we’re all connected, so ultimately in sharing stories we are really sharing ourselves.”
Or something to that affect. It’s not a rehearsed answer (it changes given the mood and atmosphere of the room), and it’s not something that isn’t genuine. This is truly why I am doing any of what I do.
Instant conversation starter.
And it’s not what I’ve said necessarily, but more about a person desiring to connect on a deeper level—something we lack so much of in today’s social circles.
The reason we don’t have deeper meaning in art is because we don’t have deeper relationships.
Whatever I “do,” first must start with why I’m bothering with it at all. I take pride in creating with a purpose, and having that feeling inside my spirit that burns like a fire for connecting with others. If it feels that way in your heart, then it’s what you’re supposed to be doing.
Don’t get stuck in the middle, and never pretend like what you do doesn’t matter.
-Jason O’Toole
(Note inspired by Simon Sinek)
(Source: memoir.jasonotoole.com)
Tweet
